Sister Cecily Roberts: Week 19: A Week of Faith

Hi Everyone,

This was definitely the hardest week of my mission. We officially have no one to teach. Ok we have potentials, but no progressing investigators. We have one person (_ JM) kind of dissolve her baptismal date in this awful lesson we had with her. And Wen JM set up to meet with us again, but she canceled again. Which is like 4 times now. And we have other hai hao (so so) people.

The whole time I've been here in Tai Dong, we've been looking for people, and it's a hard because no one ever sticks. We find plenty of new investigators each week but something always happens. They don't come, or stop answering us, or who knows. Or Guo nian strikes or you know. But no one has made it up to or past the third lesson. And it's really discouraging. Especially seeing all the other missionaries in our area being successful. Sister B and I have talked a lot about it, and we both feel like we are doing everything we know how to do. Obviously there's always room for improvement but we know that we aren't doing anything wrong. We are as obedient as we can, we pray about finding, we try to use all the time we have, etc. We just don't know what else to do. But the discouragement has been good for me. It's stretched me a lot and yea, I've learned a lot. It's taught me to rely 100% on the Lord.

I've learned this really is His work, and it doesn't matter what I do. As in, I can do everything I'm supposed to, being obedient, key indicators, etc. But it ultimately comes down to the Lord. He's the one who puts the prepared people in our path. He's the one who prepares the heart. We just need to rely on Him.

I've also learned how to be humble. I've been completely stripped of my pride. I want so badly to be a good missionary, but Heavenly Father decided to show me that it has nothing to do with me.

I've learned how to work hard. Saturday was hard. We had an awful lesson with _ JM. Everything was set up to go well. We had a member that she gets along with and everything. Well everytime we tried to teach something, she interrupted us and asked another question, and then goes off on the question. And before we could bring the lesson back, she asks another, or the member starts answering it. So we could hardly get a word in. She's really awesome though. She asks good questions, but if she would just let us talk and teach her, she wouldn't have questions. Well at the end of the lesson, the member sort of chewed us out and was like "She's going to keep having the same lessons if you don't teach her". Well yea, we know! Anyway, it was hard. Then we had two other lessons (with members) set up and they canceled. So the whole day was finding. And we found NO ONE. Literally found no one. I've never been rejected so much and so fast in my life. I don't mean to rant, I just wanted to explain that it was a hard day. But because of this day and this week, I learned that the only thing you can do is to keep going. I had the thought that working hard means that once you think everything is done, or that you've done well. DO MORE. Always do more. When you're tired and when you think you deserve a little rest, do more. It's been an awesome lesson, and I think it can be applied to literally every aspect of our lives.

The last thing I've learned is to be positive and have faith. I'm kind of a negative person when it comes to thinking of the future. In that, I mean I would much rather be realistic and say "the chances of that happening are ..." but I've learned that this thinking gets me absolutely no where. And I'm a lot more positive than I thought I would be but it's true. We can't be negative because that only leads to discouragement.

I'm really grateful for this time, and for the hard time. Especially because it helped me to understand the sacrament better. I had a great experience with the sacrament on Sunday. As I partook of the bread, I just felt something. I can't explain what it was, but for the first time in my life, I understood that when we partake of the sacrament, we are showing God that we are willing to keep our covenants. All of them. And I don't know, I just felt understanding. It finally really meant something to me. It was just such a wonderful feeling. And I felt spiritually strengthened which is also something I have never felt. And I came out of church feeling motivated and ready to go find the prepared people.

I love this gospel so much. I don't know what else to say. I know that God is our loving Heavenly Father, and that He is watching over us. I know that in the midst of our trials, our sorrows, our tribulations, He is there walking with us. If even not carrying us. Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we have hope. We never have to feel hopeless or helpless. The Savior knows how you feel. And the comfort that brings me, is so incredible. I love the Book of Mormon, and I can testify that God answers us and comforts us through that book. So read it. :) I love you all so much. My invitation to you this week is to work hard. WORK HARD. And when you think you are working hard, WORK HARDER. Fight the natural man to do less, instead of something you should do. God will bless your efforts. Even if it is just the little things in life.

I love you all!

Love from Taidong,

Sister Roberts